Friday, February 04, 2005

Quality TV

I'm sick today for the first time in months. In fact, the last time I got sick was my first week at Google. I couldn't manage to fall asleep last night so I perused cable to find something to keep me company. Around 4:30 AM I found the film Going Bananas (other link) an awful film with Dom DeLuise and JJ Walker and a kid who looks like a young Ray Liotta with a coral necklace and a Southern California accent. No offense to Ray, who, by the way, I shared a mutual stare from my Nissan Sentra looking, while he was in his black awesomemobile, both merging onto route 78 at exit 14 on the New Jersey Turnpike.

Let me point out one scene I watched: there's some restaurant, obviously in Africa. A midget in a monkey suit, whom I am supposed to believe is a monkey, is hanging from a ceiling fan while police officers below try to subdue him, including the police chief, played by a jolly fat African man in tan short sleeves and gaps in his teeth. Dom and JJ are also laughing (for us, I think) and Ray Jr. is pleading to Herbert (did he really need the money?) Lom - "Please, sir! Please don't kill my monkey!" Then there's another scene where Dom is sleeping in a safari vehicle and a lion climbs on top of it. The lion sweeps his tail into Dom's face and he wipes it away ... like it's a fly! Get it?! Dom DeLuise swatting a fly and he doesn't even know what danger he's in! Get it? It's funny!

Later on that afternoon I found Divorce Court, which was so obviously phoney I'm not even going to bother finding a link to provide to you.

Lastly, I found Fear Factor, which I'd never seen before. This was Fear Factor of Champions, or something. Nice of NBC to have a link to the show I caught. They had to milk goats ... with their mouths. You read that right. How is that acceptable at 5PM? I long for the good old days when everyone was in an uproar about even showing breasts on TV.

I'm glad Alec Guinness is not alive to see me blog about him in the same posting as goat nipple sucking. Oh, I can't do it. I'll start a fresh post.

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